Infertility and identity: rediscovering who you are beyond this chapter

Hello, Friends!

Today, I want to delve into a topic that resonates deeply with many of us – the journey of infertility and why it shouldn't define who you are.
When my husband and I didn’t conceive as easily as we hoped, and although it was extremely difficult, there was always a glimmer of hope.

Maybe this will be the month?

Despite the challenges, I never thought of us as "infertile."

I remember attending an infertility group at our Parish. While I am a strong advocate for supportive communities, and the people there were lovely, I soon realised it wasn't the right fit for us. I didn’t  see us as "infertile." Each day, I was actively learning and implementing strategies towards health and wellness, finding our path through the challenging journey.

However, after our second miscarriage, things changed. I distinctly remember uttering the words, "my womb is a tomb."

That hope I spoke about earlier? Gone.

For me, the cross of miscarriage was far heavier than that of infertility. There was no hope. Nothing to do or try or change the following month. Just a heartbreak that I didn’t know was possible….

“My womb is a tomb,” was met by loving rebuke from my family and when this thought crept into my thoughts and fears, I challenged it with what I knew. What I felt was irrelevant, feelings have a way of making fools of us.

And what did I know?

I was known and loved by God, even though I struggled to accept His plans.

My husband and I were already a family, the blessing of a child would simply make us a bigger one.

It was a most difficult period filled with doctor visits, medical tests, and heart-wrenching conversations. One thing I learned through this journey is that infertility and miscarriage should not define us. It is merely a chapter in our story, not the whole book. It's easy to feel consumed by the label of "infertile", but I urge you to remember that you are more than your ability to conceive.

You are ___________. You get to fill in that blank. Write all the things that you are; a beloved child of God, a wife, daughter, sister…..and I encourage you to add to this list.

I know you are strong, because you are here. I know you are determined, because you are here. I know you are hopeful, because you are here. And I am happy to have you here.

So, friends, let's rewrite the narrative. Let's speak to ourselves with compassion and grace, knowing that we are not the challenges we face. You are not defined by infertility – surround yourself with supportive loved ones, keep seeking resources that educate and empower you, and remember that infertility does not diminish your worth or invalidate your dreams.

Please share this with someone you know it will help ❤