Discover Your Temperament: A Guide to Understanding Yourself and Navigating Fertility Challenges
Hello, Friends.
Recently, I had the honour of conversing with someone who left me feeling energised, motivated, and hopeful. This person was self-aware and honest, even— or especially— when it came to things and choices that could be better made.
You might be wondering why I felt that it was such a lovely conversation. I often think about the reasons that people do, or don’t do, what they ought. Until recently, I would get entirely frustrated when I came across someone who claimed they wanted something but put little or no effort into achieving it.
When it comes to conceiving, while there are no guarantees, there is a lot that can be done to increase your chances of having a baby. Years ago, when I learnt that the majority of infertility challenges with couples were due to the woman, I was relieved and encouraged. Why? Because it meant that I could ease my husband’s burdens by focusing on getting the necessary blood tests for myself and making us healthier through changes in our diet and lifestyle. This proved to be a winning strategy.
I was genuinely surprised that this was a point of frustration for other women. With the difference between men and women, female hormones fluctuate significantly over a cycle, while men's hormones remain relatively stable throughout.
So why are some people likely to feel encouraged about something that discourages another? Or take immediate action where others delay or fail?
Temperament.
“……it requires also a fair knowledge of one’s self, of one’s powers of body and soul, of one’s strong and weak points, of one’s assets and defects. The old Greek saying, Know yourself! holds true also today.”
The Pallottine Fathers and Brothers, Inc. "The Four Temperaments."
Understanding your temperament can provide valuable insights into your personality and how you handle various life situations, including the challenges of fertility. Each temperament comes with its unique strengths and tendencies, influencing how we react to stress, make decisions, and view the future. By identifying your temperament, you can better navigate the emotional and practical aspects of your fertility journey.
The Four Temperaments
Sanguine:
- Traits: Sociable, lively, enthusiastic, and optimistic.
- Fertility Outlook: Sanguine individuals are likely to remain hopeful and resilient, focusing on the positives and drawing strength from social support.
Choleric:
- Traits: Ambitious, energetic, passionate, and driven.
- Fertility Outlook: Cholerics tend to tackle challenges head-on, quickly moving from frustration to proactive problem-solving.
Melancholic:
- Traits: Thoughtful, introspective, detail-oriented, and sensitive.
- Fertility Outlook: Melancholics may need time to process their emotions deeply, potentially feeling the weight of setbacks more acutely but remaining dedicated to finding a solution.
Phlegmatic:
- Traits: Calm, reliable, peaceful, and easy-going.
- Fertility Outlook: Phlegmatics approach challenges with patience and calm, maintaining a steady and balanced perspective throughout the journey.
What's Your Temperament? Take This Quiz to Find Out!
1. When faced with a challenge, how do you typically respond?
a) I tackle it head-on and look for solutions immediately.
b) I feel anxious and think about potential problems.
c) I remain optimistic and trust everything will work out.
d) I stay calm and wait for more information before acting.
2. How do you usually handle criticism?
a) I become defensive and argue my point.
b) I take it personally and dwell on it.
c) I tend to shrug it off and move on.
d) I listen carefully and consider it without much emotional reaction.
3. In social settings, how do you behave?
a) I take charge and direct conversations.
b) I prefer observing and participating only when necessary.
c) I am the life of the party, enjoying interaction with many people.
d) I am more reserved but engage in one-on-one conversations.
4. How do you approach new projects or tasks?
a) With enthusiasm and a sense of urgency.
b) With careful planning and attention to detail.
c) With excitement but sometimes lack follow-through.
d) With a steady, methodical pace.
5. How do you react when plans change unexpectedly?
a) I quickly adapt and find new solutions.
b) I feel upset and find it hard to adjust.
c) I go with the flow and adjust easily.
d) I feel mildly inconvenienced but adapt without much stress.
6. What describes your typical mood?
a) Driven and determined.
b) Thoughtful and often introspective.
c) Cheerful and carefree.
d) Calm and content.
7. How do you handle conflicts with others?
a) I confront the issue directly.
b) I tend to avoid confrontation and internalise the conflict.
c) I try to smooth things over with humour and charm.
d) I remain calm and seek a peaceful resolution.
8. How do you prioritise your daily tasks?
a) I prioritise based on importance and urgency.
b) I plan meticulously and focus on details.
c) I tend to prioritise what interests me the most at the moment.
d) I follow a consistent routine and pace myself.
9. What best describes your decision-making process?
a) Decisive and quick.
b) Cautious and deliberate.
c) Spontaneous and flexible.
d) Thoughtful and balanced.
10. When working in a group, how do you contribute?
a) I naturally take a leadership role.
b) I contribute ideas and prefer working behind the scenes.
c) I energise the group and keep morale high.
d) I support others and help maintain harmony.
11. How do you handle stress?
a) I tackle the sources of stress head-on.
b) I feel overwhelmed and need time alone to process.
c) I distract myself with activities and socialising.
d) I remain composed and look for practical solutions.
12. How do you approach long-term goals?
a) With ambition and a clear plan.
b) With caution and a step-by-step strategy.
c) With enthusiasm but sometimes lack sustained focus.
d) With steady and consistent effort.
13. How do you feel about change?
a) I thrive on change and new challenges.
b) I am apprehensive and need time to adjust.
c) I embrace change as an opportunity for new experiences.
d) I prefer stability but can adapt when necessary.
14. How do you typically express your emotions?
a) Strongly and openly.
b) Deeply but often keep them to myself.
c) Freely and with ease.
d) Calmly and with control.
15. How do you approach learning new things?
a) With eagerness and determination.
b) With curiosity but a need for thorough understanding.
c) With excitement and a love for trying new things.
d) With patience and persistence.
Scoring
For each question, the responses correspond to the temperaments as follows:
a) Choleric
b) Melancholic
c) Sanguine
d) Phlegmatic
Add the number of times you selected each letter. The letter you selected most frequently indicates your predominant temperament.
If you have a mix of two temperaments, you might have a combination of traits from both.
Navigating Fertility with Your Temperament
Once you know your temperament, here are some reflective questions to consider, tailored to your temperament:
Sanguine:
- Why do I feel the need to stay positive even when facing setbacks?
- How can I balance my social activities with time for self-care during this journey?
Choleric:
- Am I putting too much pressure on myself to find a solution quickly?
- How can I ensure that my proactive approach does not overwhelm me or my spouse?
Melancholic:
- Why am I hesitating to take action with a certain fertility programme?
- How can I better manage my stress and anxiety related to fertility treatments?
Phlegmatic:
- Am I being too passive in my approach to fertility challenges?
- How can I stay motivated and proactive while maintaining my calm and balanced outlook?
While understanding your temperament can provide valuable insights, it is essential to remember that temperaments are not set in stone. Rather than focusing entirely on your type, use this as a tool to better understand yourself and why you do or don’t do what you ought. This awareness can empower you to make informed decisions and adopt strategies that align with your personal strengths and needs. By understanding your temperament, you can better navigate the emotional and practical aspects of your fertility journey, ultimately finding the best path forward for you and your family.
References:
1. Hock, Rev. Conrad. "The Four Temperaments."